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'ASIO officers are just like you.'

Canberra: The government has spent a reported 1 million dollars in advertising for the recent secret services recruit campaign. The drive, motivated by the growth of Chinese spies, features the image of a shoe, followed by the caption: "To you, this is just a shoe. To an ASIO surveillance officer, it's still just a shoe. ASIO officers are just like you."

Mediated.com.au would like to argue nothing can be further from the truth. ASIO officers are not allowed to carry weapons, unlike anyone over 18 in Australia.

Furthermore, less than 1% of ASIO employees are from an Arabic background.


The Australian government recognises the dire need for spies from native backgrounds. With the global focus fixed to the middle east, the agency dominance of anglo-saxon males is proving far less than optimum.

Suprisingly (to only Federal Attorney-General Phillip Ruddock), despite the proliferation of foreign-language speakers in Australian socienty, ASIO is struggling to recuit Arab speakers to "operate inside the Muslim community and better monitor the terrorist threat inside Australia."

Many potential recruits are applying from Christmas Island, however, due to the Pacific Solution they are not considered Australian citizens thus inelligible for the position.

Ruddock appears to be staying his ground with his previous racist policies as Minister of Immigration, "The Government is committed to appropriately resourcing our intelligence agencies ... (from) a range of experience and backgrounds."

"However, anybody whose background includes unlawful conduct need not apply. This includes illegal immigration. Despite the fact you were genuinely running away from poverty or political assasination. And in order to incure the ire of a government you probably have to be a liberal intelligent individual. Potentially valuable in Australian society. Quite adapt for the role required really. But unlawful nonetheless."


Anglo-Saxon experts based in their ivory tower at Canberra are baffled as to why they are struggling to find the Arab speaking candicy required. Even more baffling is a Washington Post report suggesting the USA is experiencing similar problems with this demographic. Not a single bi-lingual Arabic agent is working in the section of the beaureu that investigates international terrorism!

Confused commentators have been quick to suggest that perhaps these nations overt vilification of Muslim people and values could result in the poor employment drive. However, this has been denied as "vague speculation" or "terror sympathising".

Thus, under the threat of ASIO imprisonment for 14 days without charge, the media has piped down and sat back to accept the race intollerance evident in the governments policies.

Much like the rest of Australia.

Perhaps we're not so different indeed.
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Comments
3 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]
1. December 28th 2006 @ 12:22. Damo Says:
I'm not touching this. They may listening in.
2. December 28th 2006 @ 22:24. Stuart Says:
I'm not afraid, I've been posting this from NW Queensland on holidays so they'll have to be quick to get up here before I go home

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