Full strength beer is banned... for the plebs
Melbourne: Full strength beer will not be witnessing Shane Warne's historic 700th test wicket during the fourth ashes match at the MCG this year. Unless it can afford to be drunk by members.
Victoria'a police Superintendant Mick Williams supports the ban stating "Experience shows that if we cut back on full strength alcohol in public areas it makes a huge difference."
He continues stating, "Fans are much more miserly, don't enjoy themselves, and are much more likely to go home and watch the cricket in air conditioned comfort leaving us with no trouble makers."
Supporting the alcohol ban, Supt WIlliams is proud to back his new pricing policy for the Ashes matches, "Experience also shows that geriatrics are the least likely demographic to let of flairs."
"As such we are giving away public tickets to over 65's for free, subject to a drug test to weed out the frisky ones from Brazil."
Furthermore, the Victorian police intend to take this opportunity to further vilify the P-Plate community, "Remember kids, if you're on your P's it's 0.02 blood alcohol level for when you're driving AND when you're at the match! If you're on you're L's its 0.00."
23 year old Stuart Roberts from North Sydney is distraught at the decision after being on his L's since turning 17 and never bothering to go after his P's.
What ads insult to injury is that the full strength nectar of heaven will be freely flowing in the members bars, not classified as a 'public areana'.
News of this discrimination has infuriated the plebs in the public stalls, reigniting the 'members are wankers' chant. However, nobody has a comeback to the 'who'se drinking yellow water' chant from the members.
Fortunately, amongst this shenanigans, the Barmy Army is able to keep an even keel. "We will go to the pub before the game, at lunchtime and after the game - where there's a will there's a way," Barmy Army founder Dave Peacock said.
Where there's a will indeed.
Victoria'a police Superintendant Mick Williams supports the ban stating "Experience shows that if we cut back on full strength alcohol in public areas it makes a huge difference."
He continues stating, "Fans are much more miserly, don't enjoy themselves, and are much more likely to go home and watch the cricket in air conditioned comfort leaving us with no trouble makers."
Supporting the alcohol ban, Supt WIlliams is proud to back his new pricing policy for the Ashes matches, "Experience also shows that geriatrics are the least likely demographic to let of flairs."
"As such we are giving away public tickets to over 65's for free, subject to a drug test to weed out the frisky ones from Brazil."
Furthermore, the Victorian police intend to take this opportunity to further vilify the P-Plate community, "Remember kids, if you're on your P's it's 0.02 blood alcohol level for when you're driving AND when you're at the match! If you're on you're L's its 0.00."
23 year old Stuart Roberts from North Sydney is distraught at the decision after being on his L's since turning 17 and never bothering to go after his P's.
What ads insult to injury is that the full strength nectar of heaven will be freely flowing in the members bars, not classified as a 'public areana'.
News of this discrimination has infuriated the plebs in the public stalls, reigniting the 'members are wankers' chant. However, nobody has a comeback to the 'who'se drinking yellow water' chant from the members.
Fortunately, amongst this shenanigans, the Barmy Army is able to keep an even keel. "We will go to the pub before the game, at lunchtime and after the game - where there's a will there's a way," Barmy Army founder Dave Peacock said.
Where there's a will indeed.
