Exclusive: Leaked notes from Cabinet outline keynote points of Howard's Australia day address
Canberra: In a major outrage, it has been revealed that a disgruntled insider of the Howard cabinet (Peter Costello) has leaked the notes from John Howard's address to be given on Australia day.
The leaked document precusors warnings from Victorian police of fears of a Cronulla-style confrontation after being informed about a beach riot being planned on Australia day.
This news merely added to the bubbling pressure cooker that is the Australian multi-cultural pot after the news that flags and pants are to be banned from the Big Day Out. Furthermore, British citizens are still complaining about the Tooheys Cold advertisements radically abusing the word 'pom.'
As such, to reduce the potential of pre-Australia day drunken racist violence, Mediated.com.au has elected to release the Prime Ministers leaked speach ahead of schedule. Hopefully minority groups, etremists and 'normal Aussies' can be placated by the words of the worlds greatest orator.
"My fellowAmericansAustralians. Your QueenPrime Minister is greatly concerned by your plight and would like to dedicate this ChristmasAustralia Day address to the loyal servants of the BritishAustralian Empire.
These past years of myreignglorious reign have been tainted. The proud gold veneer of mateship, the iron foundations of Industrial Relations reform, and the jubilation of the Olympics have faded into the background. A pale remnant of their former glory. Whilst the ugly scurge of segregation, immigration, un-Australian individuals and Big Brother have dominated your hearts and minds.
How can a country that prides itself on multiculturalism fall so low. We are, after all, the elite of the pacific. We keep out any of those who would potentially upset our way of life (except for the Labor right allowing in Sheik al-Hilali and remember that its an election last year. Labor did it. Labor did it).
I make great personal and factual sacrificies in order to ensure that those who are coming into Australia are truly the best we can have. We are no longer a convict nation! New immigrants must pass an English and civics test that our own politicians fail! Now everyone shall realise that Sydney is not the capital of Australia... Kirribilli is!
Yet this is how I am thanked? Rioting, factionalism, violence, you'd think a Labor party were in control.
But rather than pointing fingers and playing the blame game, let us remember what unites us. Let us focus on our Australian values.
Mateship, the Anzac spirit, following America's lead, blatent disregard of local ties in the pacific, and most importantly... The Soceroos. Remember how a nation united when we thumped Uruguay's divine right to compete into obliteration. Think back to the jubilation of our victory over Croatia!
As such I am pleased to use this address to announce the new appointment to parliament. Please make welcome, the new Treasurer, tactician and deputy leader of the Liberal Party... Guus Hiddink!"
Well at least Howard got one thing right!
The leaked document precusors warnings from Victorian police of fears of a Cronulla-style confrontation after being informed about a beach riot being planned on Australia day.
This news merely added to the bubbling pressure cooker that is the Australian multi-cultural pot after the news that flags and pants are to be banned from the Big Day Out. Furthermore, British citizens are still complaining about the Tooheys Cold advertisements radically abusing the word 'pom.'
As such, to reduce the potential of pre-Australia day drunken racist violence, Mediated.com.au has elected to release the Prime Ministers leaked speach ahead of schedule. Hopefully minority groups, etremists and 'normal Aussies' can be placated by the words of the worlds greatest orator.
"My fellow
These past years of my
How can a country that prides itself on multiculturalism fall so low. We are, after all, the elite of the pacific. We keep out any of those who would potentially upset our way of life (except for the Labor right allowing in Sheik al-Hilali and remember that its an election last year. Labor did it. Labor did it).
I make great personal and factual sacrificies in order to ensure that those who are coming into Australia are truly the best we can have. We are no longer a convict nation! New immigrants must pass an English and civics test that our own politicians fail! Now everyone shall realise that Sydney is not the capital of Australia... Kirribilli is!
Yet this is how I am thanked? Rioting, factionalism, violence, you'd think a Labor party were in control.
But rather than pointing fingers and playing the blame game, let us remember what unites us. Let us focus on our Australian values.
Mateship, the Anzac spirit, following America's lead, blatent disregard of local ties in the pacific, and most importantly... The Soceroos. Remember how a nation united when we thumped Uruguay's divine right to compete into obliteration. Think back to the jubilation of our victory over Croatia!
As such I am pleased to use this address to announce the new appointment to parliament. Please make welcome, the new Treasurer, tactician and deputy leader of the Liberal Party... Guus Hiddink!"
Well at least Howard got one thing right!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
..............in fact no! that is an insult to monkeys!
Youi make me wish he would stay on forever. OOPs too late.
Mediated
There's a great bit where John Howard is doing his 'item' and goes off stage repeating his catchline. The audience dutifully applauds because you believe the song is over.
Howard runs back on, "didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?" and sings another verse.
Sums up things very well indeed
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Mediated
That'd definitely make interesting reading