Howard goes banannas over... banannas
Northern Queensland: Australia looks set for another 'yellow' drought with inflated bananna prices over the Christmas period. The Australian Bananna Pickers Industy is no longer blaming Cyclone Larry, instead their gaze is aimed firmly at the federal government.
"The crisis point has yet to come, normally we have a good hundred refugees land in Cairns next week on the 'Shady Bob's luxury sinking dash to freedom boat', however Howard's stopped them getting into the country."
"We just don't have the labour force, after Larry destroyed our crops many of our long term workers moved elsewhere to find jobs" A random farmer said, Coles Myer refuses to comment on their labour poaching policy.
John Howard refused to comment but was overheard saying, "North Queensland? Where's that, aren't they part of the Labor Party?"
Previous Australian Prime Minister, Paul Keating, added "It's the Bananna Republic we had to have." No-one knew where he came from.
Once made aware of the Queensland bananna industries expected labour shortfall of 1,500 workers, a visibly concerned Immigration Minister Vanstone held an emergeancy press meeting.
"Normally we don't like refugees. They take jobs that true blue Aussies can't be bothered doing. But in this circumstance we're willing to make exceptions. I do like banannas."
Exceptional indeed.
"The crisis point has yet to come, normally we have a good hundred refugees land in Cairns next week on the 'Shady Bob's luxury sinking dash to freedom boat', however Howard's stopped them getting into the country."
"We just don't have the labour force, after Larry destroyed our crops many of our long term workers moved elsewhere to find jobs" A random farmer said, Coles Myer refuses to comment on their labour poaching policy.
John Howard refused to comment but was overheard saying, "North Queensland? Where's that, aren't they part of the Labor Party?"
Previous Australian Prime Minister, Paul Keating, added "It's the Bananna Republic we had to have." No-one knew where he came from.
Will work for food. Australia says 'Yes' (Courtesy of Wikipedia.org)
"Normally we don't like refugees. They take jobs that true blue Aussies can't be bothered doing. But in this circumstance we're willing to make exceptions. I do like banannas."
Exceptional indeed.
Biology News
Lost Fanatic
Day Break TV
Mediated
I appreciate you enjoyed it.
Truth be told the same thing happens everywhere, we know Australia is doing well when the worst things we have to complain about are bananna prices...
Have a good one
TV Babble
Nutty Fudgekins
Brilliant piece mate.
Mediated
At least you've got the inside scoop, swing them by here to have their vent
Mediated
Its good to hear people enjoy this,
I'm getting the feeling I should keep the satire up and see how long it is before I become dry and repetitive...
On a small sidenote this is my first 40 rated post, so thanks to everyone for the support, its encouraging for me to see.
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
*I am holding my sides over here*
Thank you for the update, I was wondering how the real banana situation was going...
Please Do give up your day job...
Lilla...
Mediated
I'm just worrying I'm setting an unrealistic precedent of my posts. So tomorrow I might have to cop out and do a film review...
Depends on whats in the news really
Thankyou for the kind words though, appreciated
All I want is some fricken bananas!
Great post.
Mediated
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Love the humour in this post.
What I love is the way one of the major supermarkets will make a media comment, like Woolies did recently regarding meat prices. They come out and tell all the viewing public that due to such-and-such a reason the prices of such-and-such a product will suddenly inflate. And, guess what ... they're right ... it does. How amazing is that.
They come out and blatently inform consumers that they are going to rise prices and, just because it's on the news, we all trust that it has to happen.
Damn shame about the banana prices. Can't wait until the prices come down again.
Keep up the great work.
A.H.
Mediated
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
A.H.
Mediated
Have a good one
Mum's Word
The Written Word
History Lass
Banannas are the ONLY fruit that my wife eats, which means that at one stage our bananna budget was running neck and neck with our meat budget on a weekly basis
Mediated
Still trying to get the hang of the Orble setup
The Written Word
History Lass
Mediated
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
They must import those dry banana's or something....?
Lilla...
Always Eighteen
Remember the time when people at the gas station would clean your windscreen?
Sigh... Money.