Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Sites | Writers | Advertise | My Orble | Login
 
Quote of the day: "102.1 Harmison to Ponting, no run, wide and Ponting has to stretch to reach it. "Harmison couldn't hit an elephant from 20 paces?" was Jeff Thomson's assessment earlier. Guess it depends on the size of the elephant." - baggygreen.com

Democrats: the al-Qaeda party of choice... Howard: the politician of no choice

Canberra: Prime Minister John Howard has turned over a new leaf this previous week, criticising an American politician for the first time in his decade long stint in power.

Caught between the influx of mixed emotions commonly referred to as the US presidential race, Howard has proven determined that, "if I hear a policy being advocated that is contrarty to Australia's interests I will criticise it."

Thus, with numerous complex arguements being scattered across the US political scene, Howard has found a gross generalisation to grab and hold on to, namely, "If I was running al-Qaeda in Iraq I would put a circle around March 2008 and pray as many times as possible for a victory, not only for Obama, but also for the Democrats."


One senior Bush official retorted unofficially in jest, "If I were fighting a war in Iraq, I would pray that Howard were running the organisation, because then we'd finally have a victory. At least we'd know where to find him!"

Many believe this outbust is derived in the deterioration of Bush's relationship with Howard, Whitehouse spokesperson Tony Snow claiming, George W Bush "hasn't talked to Prime Minister Howard since January 9th."

Reinforcing this line of speculation, a recently leaked piece of Channel 9 footage shows the uncut version of Howard's attack on Obama, "If I was running al-Qaeda in Iraq I would put a circle around March 2008 and pray as many times as possible for a victory, not only for Obama, but also for the Democrats. Why don't you call me George?"

n Australia, Political pundits are working overtime trying to read the other possible motivations behind such an outburst. Many believe this is a political ploy to distract election year voters from environmental issues and re-align their focus on the traditional Liberal safehouse of public security.


Many view this motivation with skepticism, despite being reminded of children overboard, tampa, the war in Iraq and the War on Terror proving blockbuster election winners for Howard in the past.

Those on the Labor backbench who are still enthralled in this "conspiracry theory" are working overtime to apply a sense of terror and fear to core Labor issues. Policies such as, 'The axis IR reforms of evil', 'cyclone Osama Bin Laden', 'the drought that's killed the Australian way of life' and the 'terrorists get cheap exports too Free Trade Agreement' have all been met with luke warm receptions.

Kevin Rudd has labelled far more serious allegations against the Prime Minister's "reckless act", "To accuse the Democratic Party of the US of being al-Qaeda's party of choice... is a most serious charge."

Howard has denied casting a broad smear net over "those Democractic hippies", however, his well publicised quote where he requests victory not only for Obama, "but also for the Democrats" proves that Howard has issues with not only his memory, but also lying through his teeth.

Of course mediated.com.au would never make such a claim about lying, it was only focusing on the comment about memory loss.
Comments (6)Comments (6) Add CommentsAdd Comments
121
Vote
Shared on
   


Want to stop 'un-Australianism', then look no further than Saudi Arabia!

The answer is finally here. After days wafting hot air from Canberra, a solution to un-Australian activities has finally be found.

No, I'm not suggesting we should all eat lamb. Nor should we ban flags, embrace flags, create flags or burn flags. Infact, for once, this has nothing to do with a flag at all.

Instead, to ensue that 'misdemeanours' of society appreciate the society they choose to live in, we should look no further than Saudi Arabia.

Todays hot news story was entitled, "Drug user must memorise Koran." A Saudi court has ordered a drug user to spend 6 months memorising the Koran, if he fails, he'll serve an additional 1 year in prison.

What an idea!

If someone refuses to obey a fundamental priciple, we can force feed it until they are indoctrinated!

This got me thinking, in the light of the blatant 'un-Australianess' that we are innevitably having, then surely a solitary speach by Howard is insufficient. Rather, much like the Catholic pentance of hail mary's, we should be running non-stop repeats of the values Australians need to embrace.

For example, as punishment for racism, vilification of others or inciting riots, people have 6 months to memorise the complete works of Banjo Patterson...

as punishment for pub brawling, taxi driver assualting or precociousness, people have 6 months to memories Mark Lathams auto-biography, otherwise they'll spend 1 year in jail...

It's reasonable to avoid forcing the bible as a punishment because Australia prides itself on its secularism (as opposed to the overtly sharian Muslim state of Saudi Arabia), so what other icons of Australian culture do you think should be enforced on nogooders. Re-runs of Dad's country for matricide?

We're definitely on to something here....
Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
112
Vote
Shared on
   


Exclusive: Leaked notes from Cabinet outline keynote points of Howard's Australia day address

Canberra: In a major outrage, it has been revealed that a disgruntled insider of the Howard cabinet (Peter Costello) has leaked the notes from John Howard's address to be given on Australia day.

The leaked document precusors warnings from Victorian police of fears of a Cronulla-style confrontation after being informed about a beach riot being planned on Australia day.

This news merely added to the bubbling pressure cooker that is the Australian multi-cultural pot after the news that flags and pants are to be banned from the Big Day Out. Furthermore, British citizens are still complaining about the Tooheys Cold advertisements radically abusing the word 'pom.'

As such, to reduce the potential of pre-Australia day drunken racist violence, Mediated.com.au has elected to release the Prime Ministers leaked speach ahead of schedule. Hopefully minority groups, etremists and 'normal Aussies' can be placated by the words of the worlds greatest orator.

"My fellow AmericansAustralians. Your QueenPrime Minister is greatly concerned by your plight and would like to dedicate this ChristmasAustralia Day address to the loyal servants of the BritishAustralian Empire.

These past years of my reignglorious reign have been tainted. The proud gold veneer of mateship, the iron foundations of Industrial Relations reform, and the jubilation of the Olympics have faded into the background. A pale remnant of their former glory. Whilst the ugly scurge of segregation, immigration, un-Australian individuals and Big Brother have dominated your hearts and minds.

How can a country that prides itself on multiculturalism fall so low. We are, after all, the elite of the pacific. We keep out any of those who would potentially upset our way of life (except for the Labor right allowing in Sheik al-Hilali and remember that its an election last year. Labor did it. Labor did it).

I make great personal and factual sacrificies in order to ensure that those who are coming into Australia are truly the best we can have. We are no longer a convict nation! New immigrants must pass an English and civics test that our own politicians fail! Now everyone shall realise that Sydney is not the capital of Australia... Kirribilli is!

Yet this is how I am thanked? Rioting, factionalism, violence, you'd think a Labor party were in control.

But rather than pointing fingers and playing the blame game, let us remember what unites us. Let us focus on our Australian values.

Mateship, the Anzac spirit, following America's lead, blatent disregard of local ties in the pacific, and most importantly... The Soceroos. Remember how a nation united when we thumped Uruguay's divine right to compete into obliteration. Think back to the jubilation of our victory over Croatia!

As such I am pleased to use this address to announce the new appointment to parliament. Please make welcome, the new Treasurer, tactician and deputy leader of the Liberal Party... Guus Hiddink!"

Well at least Howard got one thing right!
Comments (5)Comments (5) Add CommentsAdd Comments
147
Vote
Shared on
   


Ban the banning of all bannable items - What a big day out that'd be

Homebush: Politicians have ceased the moment, sharpened the sacrifical sword and prepared to perform a Mel Gibsonesque sacrifice of needlessly bloody proportions.

Their victim


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (15)Comments (15) Add CommentsAdd Comments
177
Vote
Shared on
   


The random news story for December

[Editorial] When a newspaper article 'No sex please we're Korean' includes the quotation : "Do they really think men buy sex every time they have a dinner party?" The temptation to include it is just far to great.

I'm a touch cautious about milking this for all its worth, especially in light of the recent fiasco. However South Korea deserves it's place in the limelight for it's current iniative


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
110
Vote
Shared on
   


'ASIO officers are just like you.'

Canberra: The government has spent a reported 1 million dollars in advertising for the recent secret services recruit campaign. The drive, motivated by the growth of Chinese spies, features the image of a shoe, followed by the caption: "To you, this is just a shoe. To an ASIO surveillance officer, it's still just a shoe. ASIO officers are just like you."

Mediated.com.au would like to argue nothing can be further from the truth. ASIO officers are not allowed to carry weapons, unlike anyone over 18 in Australia


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
180
Vote
Shared on
   


Today's short odds: Harry Potter suicide 6-1 down from 10-1

London: In a strange spate of affairs, J K Rowling's publishes has proven punters will bet on anything by taking bets on which wizard shall claim Harry Potter's illustrious scalp in the final novel Harry Potter and the Deathly Harrows.

In a stranger set of affairs, the quickest odds to fall are on Harry Potter killing himself, dropping from 10-1 to 6-1 in a matter of days. Lord Voldemort is the red hot favourite at 4-5


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (5)Comments (5) Add CommentsAdd Comments
150
Vote
Shared on
   


Full strength beer is banned... for the plebs

Melbourne: Full strength beer will not be witnessing Shane Warne's historic 700th test wicket during the fourth ashes match at the MCG this year. Unless it can afford to be drunk by members.

Victoria'a police Superintendant Mick Williams supports the ban stating "Experience shows that if we cut back on full strength alcohol in public areas it makes a huge difference


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
126
Vote
Shared on
   


Holocaust denier in denial!

Austria:

No more than 24 hours after being released from prison, British holocause denier David Irving has called for further denial of historical enquiry


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (5)Comments (5) Add CommentsAdd Comments
146
Vote
Shared on
   


Warnie chases 700th test wicket - "One for each child"

Melbourne: Midway through the Ashes series, legendary spin bowler and robot dancer, Shane Warne has decided to pull up stumps on first grade cricket.

As the bowler announced his retirement yesterday, teammates revealed that he had privately flagged the idea of leaving international cricket at the beginning of the series


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
64
Vote
Shared on
   


The New Face of Terror

This is an article on news.com.au entitled Farts spark emergency landing

"AN American Airlines flight has made an emergency landing after a passenger with severe gas problems struck matches to mask the odour of flatulence.
[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (5)Comments (5) Add CommentsAdd Comments
95
Vote
Shared on
   


School Wars 2: Attack of the Drones

New South Wales: The schools are embroiled in controversy again. This time, however, it's the DEET being complained about!

The Federal Government is outraged that schools are using children as young as five to distrubute "political propaganda" against the controversial WorkChoice Laws


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (3)Comments (3) Add CommentsAdd Comments
92
Vote
Shared on
   


Which Bank? The Witch Bank!

Canberra: Prime Minister Howard has today labelled the unions concerns a 'beat up.'

The beat up doesn't refer to the AWB finally accepting the commision reccomendations and splitting the business in a 'clean up


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (1)Comments (1) Add CommentsAdd Comments
64
Vote
Shared on
   


Talking about Terrorist is too terrifying

NSW: A political furor is in place after the Department of Education pulled a simulation exercise, whereby students played key figures in the Middle Eastern Crisis. The activity, designed by Macquarie Universities Andrew Vincent, has been accused of unjust bias and is feared to have the potential to cite greater racial distrust.

Documents never seen by Mediated.com.au show that the background notes on key terrorist groups gave position descriptions. Shameful


[ Click here to read more ]
Read MoreRead More Comments (7)Comments (7) Add CommentsAdd Comments
94
Vote
Shared on
   


Moderated by Stuart
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]