Which Bank? The Witch Bank!
Canberra: Prime Minister Howard has today labelled the unions concerns a 'beat up.'
The beat up doesn't refer to the AWB finally accepting the commision reccomendations and splitting the business in a 'clean up'.
Nor to Australian Education Minister Julie Bishop's inability to pass a civics question now dubbed 'two-up'.
Or even the search for weapons of mass distruction in Iraq, they were a 'lead up'.
Rather Howard's comments were in response to the Commonwealth Bank implementing AWAs to its staff capitalising on the governments new IR laws.
Despite conditions such as rostered days off, overtime pay, shift allowance, leave loading, meal expenses, telephone allowances and relocation expenses being ditched; Howard insists the changes are an improvement as "it makes changes to the hours of work to increase the ability of provide for customer needs, including opening branches on the weekends."
However union officials are concerned that these new agreements will result in requiring "staff to work anywhere at any time the bank wishes, seven days a week."
Howard rejects these claims citing, "There's only a couple of Commonwealth Bank branches left open, so its not like they can relocate people that much."
It is rumoured that staff are most concerned with the new 'bend over' clause in their contract, stating at any time on Commonwealth property a sub-ordinate staff member must stop working, bend over, and allow a superior staff member to kick them up the bum.
The Bank has labelled this as an 'incentive' to allow more senior members an outlet to vent their frustrations at their quickly diminshing work rights.
"In addition it provides a great motivation to climb the corporate ladder." One branch manager jovially added.
Office Junoir Steve, is considering legal action after developing RSI in his right cheek.
The beat up doesn't refer to the AWB finally accepting the commision reccomendations and splitting the business in a 'clean up'.
Nor to Australian Education Minister Julie Bishop's inability to pass a civics question now dubbed 'two-up'.
Or even the search for weapons of mass distruction in Iraq, they were a 'lead up'.
Rather Howard's comments were in response to the Commonwealth Bank implementing AWAs to its staff capitalising on the governments new IR laws.
Despite conditions such as rostered days off, overtime pay, shift allowance, leave loading, meal expenses, telephone allowances and relocation expenses being ditched; Howard insists the changes are an improvement as "it makes changes to the hours of work to increase the ability of provide for customer needs, including opening branches on the weekends."
However union officials are concerned that these new agreements will result in requiring "staff to work anywhere at any time the bank wishes, seven days a week."
Howard rejects these claims citing, "There's only a couple of Commonwealth Bank branches left open, so its not like they can relocate people that much."
It is rumoured that staff are most concerned with the new 'bend over' clause in their contract, stating at any time on Commonwealth property a sub-ordinate staff member must stop working, bend over, and allow a superior staff member to kick them up the bum.
The Bank has labelled this as an 'incentive' to allow more senior members an outlet to vent their frustrations at their quickly diminshing work rights.
"In addition it provides a great motivation to climb the corporate ladder." One branch manager jovially added.
Office Junoir Steve, is considering legal action after developing RSI in his right cheek.
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